I'm sixteen years old and I'm thinking about my mortality. It's summer and I'm regretting wasted time. I have no money and i'm thinking about a job.

Ok so maybe the last one wasn't so weird, but the other ones definitely were. What's wrong?

Humping frogs? Qua?

Well. I watched another Eastern movie that involved humping animals today. The first time was watching 12 Storeys. In the first five minutes of this delightful film, a young man jumps off his apartment building (on the twelfth story) and dies. Just before he hits the ground though, the scene cuts to two cats humping and then being scared off by the noise of the man hitting the ground. I was in a fetal position in the big recliner chair for the next twenty minutes.

In this particular film, placed in Vietnam in the eighties, it was two frogs humping. This film was called Nostaligia for the Countryside. It also had this teenager hugging his sister in law and then ejaculating. Just after she breaks the hug from awkwardness, he reaches down and feels his own semen, remarking, "I now feel like a man."

I'm sorry for being so immature, but it is SO funny. I just can't get over it. I feel embarassed, and yet strangely amused. and I also feel like I'm twelve.

Ahhhh. I was trying to watch the X-files but then I got too scared. I did manage to finish two Twilight Zone episodes and Carrie.

I can see your dirty pillows.

Spirtuality Film

For some reason, I haven't written a real post in a while. I suppose it would be my busy busy summer schedule keeping me occupyed. All my days so far have consisted of outrigger paddling, surfing, friends, sleepovers, shows, and movies. Pretty harsh life I would have to say. But I have been having a feeling of strange discomfort in my new freedom. I just feel so undirected and useless almost. I know the reality is that I'm not, I mean, I help my mom out with the chores a lot and I do edify myself by watching artsy foreign films at least 5 times a week in my favorite movie house. Not to mention reading. But all these things are not really "work" and I'm not really challenging myself. Oh, speaking of work, I have to call my hopefully future boss really quick...I definitely need a job.

Ok so this is my plan. A few months ago, I went through a spiritual confusion, which I sort of wrote about in this blog, and I tried to find myself, got confused then recently found some sort of closure in a area where there is never closure. Since I'm happy now and generally stable with where I am, but nonetheless curious, I thought I could make a documentary of sorts about finding your spirituality, or religion and how people settle it out for themselves. It would manly focus on the teenage perspective because I think that is the most under rated. People should know that not all teenagers pray to the god of lipgloss and playstations, or worship the saint of Jake Gyllenhaal. Ok, maybe I do worship Saint Jake (or rather, Saint Darko of Middlesex), but I still think about "deep" things and write poetry blah blah blah.

I have a couple of people that I want to talk to as far as the teenagers go (all of different religions/ spiritual mindsets), and I think that I'm probably going to go to some Jewish temples, Baptist and Catholic churches, and this Buddist temple that I know. And I really want to go to a Mosque, but I don't know of any on Oahu. But I'm sure I can find some people to talk to. I also want to go to the University and talk to this great professor that my mom had when she went there. He's the head of the religion department. While I'm there I'm going to try and find some good philosophy professors/students too.

I'm really excited about this project and hopefully I can handle it. If not, who cares anyways? Just talking to all these people and exploring my own spirituality along the way should be a great experience.

So yay! I'm all jazzed up.

I would LOVE some feedback btw.

love,
me

Competition Thing

street side diplomat

allegedly it does

The Dandy Warhols

The Dandy Warhols have a really great sound. I love them.


And the Shins are coming to Hawaii!

Books

Books to read:

Lust in Translation, Pamela Druckerman
Lullabies for Little Criminals, Heather O'neill
The Reluctant Fundamentalist, Mohsin Hamid
Anti-Oedipus, Gilles Deleuze
Memoirs of a Geisha
Perks of Being a Wallflower
Lolita
The Last Empress
Animal Farm
1984
Economic Naturalist
Harry Potter 5 (to get ready for the movie)
Harry Potter 6 (to get ready for the book)



love

Support Net Neutrality

A while ago in English class our teacher showed us this video:



At the time, I thought, "Wow, cool video. I really want to support this." I did as much as I could do for being a minor (not being able to vote).

Recently I watched this video (it's a feature film on youtube):



It's SOOO good. You should watch it and then go support these guys, which you can do for free by signing up at www.spout.com/foureyedmonsters

Go for it! Support them. Btw the connection is that Aron and Susan made both videos.

www.savetheinternet.com

Comfortably numb?

Tonight I watched a movie about the Vietnam war and how troops took a stand for what they believed in and fought against the Man. In this war they killed women and children and men fighting for their country like these men were fighting for ours. The people who stood up for what they believed in often got put in jail for years or got sprayed with tear gas or got cut with bayonets.

There is a war going on right now where people are dying and nothing seems to be getting done. There are lies being told and it makes me mad because a war shouldn’t be based on heaps of falsities. I want to take a stand too but I don’t know what to do. I think I should figure out what I can do.

I had dream last night that the war came here, to my town. I dreamt that the police and the military on our side was corrupt and that there were atrocities happening to our people. In my dream, I was the only one that wanted to film these things, I was the only one willing to break the law and record what was going on. I got hired by some big company in New York that would have never hired a sixteen year old girl otherwise, and in my dream I got to live my usual day dream. I got to use the horribleness that was going on to create good and to fight against what was going on.

Is this a sign?

Ever Since the World Ended

I just watched a faux documentary about if the world ended in a plague and there were only a few people left (only 185 in San Francisco, where the movie was set). It seemed really gruesome and yet strangely hopeful. There was silence for once and things seemd real. I can't yet decide whether I would like it or not, but I suppose I would because it gives us all another chance as human beings.

We have a beautiful history. It's filled with hypocrisy and hate as well as the marvels, and yet it's endearing because it's us (a mere reflection of human flaws and triumphs multiplied).

I think I would like another chance not to re-do history, but to have someone remember our mistakes and fix them. If we had to live in the steely ruins of past I think we would rectify our species, and live with the world, not just on top of it like some life sucking seran wrap, as Kurt Vonnegut says so fondly.

It also seems like we've put up so many laws and boundaries and words and positions of power and positions of submission. We've lost that essence that is the soul of the universe. Empathy is lost in the 1 in 5's or the every 30 seconds'. Maybe I'm too hedonistic, but I what a burden to live under.

It's playing at the Dorris Duke. Here's the official review:

"A faux documentary with a twist, Ever Since the World Ended unfolds in and around an eerily depopulated San Francisco 10 years after a mysterious plague has decimated humanity. But instead of making a movie about the aftermath of a disaster, the filmmakers try to envision what the first movie made after that disaster might look like. The result is a rudimentary yet fascinating record of remembrance and reconstruction, accessed through survivor interviews and carefully chosen landscapes. Effects are all the more special for being minimal: a decaying Golden Gate bridge, a decomposing ship listing in the harbor. We see a variety of approaches to survival, from the artist and engineer who trade for their needs, to the surfers and woodsmen who fish and hunt. We encounter emotionally damaged scavengers who shun human contact, and members of a communal farm, working to build a new world. We also see how the community deals with those who threaten it, and how the youth born since the disaster are growing up with different values from those who knew our world. A thought—provoking film."

Stuck

I think I'm having writers block.

I just watched the movie thirteen and it was heavy but still a good movie. I looked it up on wiki and it only took six days to write the screen play and i wonder what I could do with six days and a computer. I guess it's not fair to say that and it probably makes things worse for myself as far as writers block goes but I just needed to say it. I really want to write something great! but how? I feel like, "oh, I want to write something great. but I don't want to actually write it." screw that, I say.

I'm re-reading East of Eden and I can't believe how genius Steinbeck was. Freaking genius.

The first time I read it I stopped half way through because I couldn't deal with the thought that we are destined to sin according to the bible and we have to pay for the sins of our fathers (Cain and Abel) and the ironic part about it is that a few more pages into the book, you find out that the Hebrew translations says that we have the choice to fall into sin. So that's what makes us human and that's what gives us power. He just is able to say the most important things in a subte way that really makes you understand them. I just wanna be like that.

My mom always tells me the greater the artist, the greater the doubt.

T or F?

A Million Times Over

There’s an empty street
Where the pavement is dark grey.
They are the pupils in the city’s eyes.
The rain falls in mists;
Those are natures tears
On the surface of this grave.
A storm has come,
It blocks the light black sky.
There’s no moon,
Nor are there stars,
There’s nothing to wish away.
There are only street lights
With their stale, plastic glow.
They burn poison,
And we have a limited supply.

wtf??

Sitting on the couch this morning trying to read my Tao of Pooh, I became distracted by my mom's voice.

"Ugghh not so much"
"I guess some people are just down right ugly."
"Oh my gosh look at the size of those nipples!"
hold on. what is happening???
"Well her skin looked better darker."
"Wait. That. is. a. man. Come on? It has to be. Look that body."
what is she looking at?
"That's a mahu right there. No doubt about it."
"Ok. That is good. That's the only attractive one."
"Ugh look at those thighs. No she couldn't have gotten rid of them with exersize. I swear, some people are just fat."
"UHHHuuuuHHHH. Oh. Nevermind it's a man."


I had to get up and see.











The wonders of plastic surgery.

FYI

This is not me actually writing a post. This is actually me putting on my swim suit and going outside for the first time today. Just actually letting you know.










But when I come back! Just wait. I'm actually gonna do something productive like posting my quality project.

The Teen Hippie Club, helping an environment near you.

I just saw Year of the Dog written/directed by Mike White. It had Molly Shannon in it, an SNL favorite who was in one of my favorite movies, Superstar.

Year of the Dog was a really good movie. It depicted a pretty normal 40-ish woman who lived alone with her dog, until he met his early death. She then gets into animal activism and goes a little nuts at one point, but her friends help her out of that and she is able to direct her love of animals into an organisation.

I really love the Earth and the environment, and throughout the school year I volunteered to help out with causes that supported this. I hadn't really planned anything specific for this summer, and now I'm feeling a little lost. This movie really inspired me to get back on it, and do what I love to do: help the environment and promote sustainability.

My parents support this love, but they haven't really wanted to contribute to my causes by buying organic/free range food or getting hybrid car or buying me organic cotton clothes. So what I'm going to do is start a club for young adults (read teens) supporting environmental sustainability. I'm going to put up posters and then have a meeting outside one of my favorite coffee shops. We will just talk about stuff like current issues, problems with parents not helping us be more sustainable, etc. I'm really excited about it! Also, if there's an event being held somewhere, then we can all go together. It seems like teens really need to go places in groups to feel comfortable. I know several people who refuse to do any volunteer projects by themselves.

Maybe I'll call it the Teen Hippies or Mini-hippies or something.

Yay!

email me if you live on Oahu and your interested: lkemp-wilbur09@punahou.edu