Just having the comfort of coming here
It calms the soul
But opens it and stabs it
because of percieved
ostersization
Don't laugh
It trips and skips
on the tongue
but the giggle
remains in its dark hole
I'm not going anywhere
Just staying here and watching
and letting the soul
or what I think is soul
write itself away
sign itself away
let itself be read and wipped clean
exit and reopen please
He's the only cat that I've ever had that really loved me. All my cats have loved me, but he really loves me, as in he follows me around the house, sleeps in my bed, constantly is looking to see what I"m doing. He's obsessed. I think it's because he loves love. He loves to be pet, rubbed, whatever. He loves the loving better than food (which is suprising, because my other cat is a fatty mcfat). I'm rather the same also. I'm a little bit dramatic, a little bit heartstrong (not headstrong). I just go with my feelings full throtal sometimes. This is very much like my cat. We love to play hard, and we love to work hard (or for him, hunt hard). It's really cool having someone who I can just pet and love and play with. My mom is my best friend, and so Syd has no compitition for that position, but he's a cool guy.
I was thinking about the essential question "How can I make myself a better person?" when I was playing with him earlier today. I admire many qualities in Syd, some that I hope to better emulate in the coming months. One is that he knows how to truly relax and have fun. He can just play on the bed with my little stuffed kitten and enjoy himself. He also knows how to appreciate the simple pleasures in life. He realizes that it just takes a simple pet, or a small bite of wet can food to make the day better. He also demonstrates qualities of friendship, such as loyalty, love, support, and humor.
I know that having Syd as a pet will help me to relax in the stressful last months of sophomore year. He will remind me of the qualities of a good friendship. And most importantly, he will remind me that the simple joys of chewing on a curtain are those that make a happy day.
Hey Shinz. Good to hear from you. I wasn't sure how to respond, so if you want to leave a comment on this post with your blog info? or maybe email? Whatever you want to do. It's so cool that your nick name is Shinz, because one of my favorite bands is callled The Shins. Can't wait to here more about South Korea!
Warning: This blog was just a free write sort of thing. I didn't hold back my thoughts for the mental editing process. Mental editing process=turned off
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed. I read the news everyday, and I hear about what's going on in all parts of the world, and it disturbs me. Living in Hawaii, you live in a bubble. It's so incredibly easy to let every worry go and just focus on the here and now. Focus on what your doing this weekend, or get caught up in due dates, papers, and tests coming up. When the bubble pops, it's both exhilirating, and emotionally exhausting. I was walking into Puna*** campus the other day and I just mentally stopped. I zoomed out like google earth and I looked at the world. Not my world, but the big one. Millions of people doing countless activities, or dying, or being born. It's hard to comprehend. Then I zoomed in just a little to look at high school. Some things seemed to be incredibly frivolous. Not the learning part, because learning is timeless, but lots of the social aspects. If you really look at the Puna*** students, an obvious pattern pops up. Cliques. After a semester in high school, I could map out one of the most complicated clique/hang out systems. Cookie cutter people in relatively cookie cutter cliques (ok, a little generlized, but true for the most part), and the most ironic part is that the people in the cliques think they're so unique! Makes me want to say, NO! your not. It's like Holden Caulfield. He was trying to be so individualistic, and he was. But there were also millions of other people like him, doing the SAME EXACT THING. Ok, so how is that individualistic agian?
Anyways, I just wanted to vent. I have a feeling that my bubble's permanently burst, and it feels good now. I guess I just had to squeeze out the poison before I could get used to it. :)
More later about the world à la ex-bubble girl
The house that we stay at in SF is just up the Marina (about two or three houses from here)
These are my naked neices and nephew playing at Crissy (I think that's the name) Beach Park
awesome architecture (sp??). this is the ExplOratorium.
This is the view from the house at Stinston beach just outside of SF
This is the Museum of Fine Arts in SF. A wonderful place. 
HAIGHT ASHBERRY!!! Hippie town. My town. 
Some frat boys, and my dad's old fraternity at Stanford (my future school...hopefully)
There were so many more pictures but time wouldn't permit me to post them all. But just ask if you crave more of SF!
It was a fun trip.
NOTE: This is a practice essay for the SAT's. It is a timed test, where students have 25 minutes to write on a predetermined questions using a quote provided for guidance.
Yes, I think that newspapers, magazines, movies, and the internet have huge influence on peoples priorities and interests as a whole. In the modern lives of people, these forms of media bombard our thinking—they are so readily available. Because of this, now, more than ever, media such as newspapers, magazines, movies, and especially the internet determine what is important to most people.
In the quote, it says that media not only transmits information and culture, but decides what information is important. This is true because the media, in most cases, is our only source of news and information (especially concerning wars, and international affairs). What topics newspapers decide to write articles on, or what footage movies decide to shoot and produce define what we will most be subjected to, and subsequently what will shape the cultural trends.
This intake of media, and formation of trends, is most clearly evident on the internet. Looking around popular blogging sites, such as Blogger.com, we can see the topics that get written on the most. Some of these topics include the war in Iraq, new movies, Britney Spear’s multiple bald spots, and the economy. If we turn our gaze from what the bloggers are writing about to the sources, it’s easy to see where they get their opinions (from tabloids, popular newspapers and magazines, TV, and movies). In this way, it shows that the quote is correct: that media shapes our thinking and interests.
Fifty years ago, the types of media listed here weren’t as readily available as they are now. In fact, some of them didn’t even exist. Knowing this, we can look back and see how the influence has changed, and where it has increased. Back fifty years ago, TV’s weren’t as common, and internet wasn’t invented yet. Because they didn’t have 24/7 media influence, their interests and ideas evolved slower and didn’t effect them as much on the whole. Now, we do have 24/7 media available anytime we sit down in front of the TV or computer. This changes the dynamics of media influence tremendously.
In conclusion, I believe that newspapers, magazines, movies, and the internet shape our culture’s interests, and our own personal opinions. I also believe that the influence will continue to increase as technology evolves.
Recently went to San Fran. Loved it so much. I just adore the vibes, the architecture, the people, the food, the shops.
Anyways, on more relevant topics, I am going to review the "essential" questions.
Here are the ones that I've been trying to indirectly address throughout my blog so far:
1. How can I make myself a better person?
2. What kind of world is this?
3. How should I live in this world?
I think that my blogs have addressed these issues each in their own unique way. Take for example my first blog, the poem about the world/universe that we live in. Then, in my second one, I talk about what "art" is, and how we evaluate it. That one I think addresses the question number three. I'm not going to go through each blog, but I think (or hope) that the questions that the posts refer to are self-explanatory, or you can figure them out at least.
I think that in the future I"ll work on question number one more. I haven't really addressed that one specifically yet. It's definitely a question that I have many responses too. I think that I'll maybe read some books on that...haha just kidding. But in reality, self help books are not bad, in general. I'd also like to talk about question number three. I'm really into the environment (who isn't?) and so that will be interesting to explore. I was thinking a lot about that on my trip to SF because the cable cars there have no emmisions. Pretty groovy, huh? And the food is SO good, not the synthesized crap we have here. That has to effect the environment (i.e. the organicness of the food vs our inorganic food).
Some questions that I'd like to add are, "How is technology and it's resources changing the way that we live our lives?" and "How is my point of view changing as I learn more, and grow?". So that will be good.
As far as the technology question goes, I have been thinking SO much about that. I have tons to share on this blog in later posts.
WOW. Exciting stuff, non?
I believe in supergirl.
She stands by me through both my darkest hours, and shining moments. She's here to support me. She knows who I am. She knows where I live, and how old I am. She knows my favoirte Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor, and my G.P.A.; but she also knows the real me. The me that can't be expressed with pen and paper, or through a lens or on a canvas. She knows the essence and the spirit, and she truly believes in that.
She inspires me when I feel tired and exhausted of life; when I get a bad grade, or lose something precious. She lifts me up when I feel insecure; when I don't succeed the first time I try something. When I don't feel good enough for some inner pimp, she kicks that pimp right in the ass. She protects my psyche, the spirit, and makes it be strong. She loves me unconditionally without exceptions (faults and all). She stands behind me as I form opinions that turn into philosophies; she supports the newly budded ideas and beliefs that grow within, though they may be different from what everyone else thinks.
Supergirl is my strength and power. She is the ultimate and the omnipotent. She is superme.
There’s white and then darkness.
You have nothing left but an empty shell,
and you take what’s left and leave the emptiness in our souls.
Try not to think about it.
Try to forget or maybe just not remember
what I feel.
Let’s get swept away in the undercurrent,
Not pay attention to the surface.
I’m having a shallow water black out here,
but don’t worry.
I can see the surface and I know I’ll come back.
In English today, we briefly talked about posting a blog that showed an example of something you see as quality and explain the criteria. Well, I'm an editor for our school literary magazine, and this is a point that comes up A LOT (and I mean a hell of a lot). One day after our meeting, I was feeling frustrated. We had been discussing a piece of poetry that confused me. It seemed like a nice enough collection of words and sounds, but when looking for the meaning, it seemed to dissolve into ambiguity. You can read the poemhere from Mr. Schauble's blog. Mr. Schauble was saying that the Ka Wai Ola editors get confused when faced with a piece of prose or poetry where the conclusion is clear, and where there isn't any obvious resolution. Personally, I know that I don't get discouraged when reading resolution less piece; though I may get confused, I don't give up until I understand it. This poem either had no subtext where a resolution hid, or it just completely and utterly went over my head. Even though I've re-read this poem over and over, I still feel like I'm going in circles as far as the meaning is concerned. I know there are references, but where and how do they relate to each other?
Ok sorry I went off on a tangent [we're learning about those in geometry, so I know all about them].
What I'm trying to say is this: some people love that poem, and some people hate it. That's just the way it is, and it's always going to be like that with any--and every--thing. Art, politics, philosophies, religion, fashion, literature- you name it. I've come to realize this in the past year because of a couple of events. The first event happened at the end of summer. It was my annual summer trip to my godfather's house. My godfather is Joe Kennedy, and his dad was Bobby Kennedy. This family has opinions by the tons. Sitting at the dinner table, major discussions occur, and they last the entire dinner, desert, coffee, and sometimes till very late at night. No matter how much debating happens, each side steadfastly holds their own. I know you may be thinking, Why has it taken her so long to figure this out? Politics have always been like this. But I guess you could say I was just a little optimistic flower child filled with naivety. To quote a journal entry that I made while staying there, "I learned three major things from the Kennedy's this summer: 1) Politics, after you take away all the stupid frivolous layers, is just personal philosophies that differ. So, in a way, it's pointless to argue either sides validity..." The other two things that I learned are unrelated to the point, so I won't mention them. The second main event that happened was Ka Wai Ola. I was in KWO in freshman year, but I was so nervous the whole time, I barely spoke, just sort of listened to other people talk. This year, though, I was more active in my participation. Through this, I came to realize that people can argue all they want, but it's still this one single piece of art that's not going to change, and neither will your interpretations, because their your own personal ones.
These two ideas, one about politics, one about art and literature first started to merge after having a extremely long and involved discussion with my parents about art and lit. Here is a passage from one of my earlier posts about this discussion:
"Robert Frost came up in this huge discussion that I had with my parents about what is art (literature style art included), what makes it good, etc. I was taking the ultra-liberal point of view, which is "everything is art, its just the way you look at it" sort of thing, and they were taking the "good art/bad art/not art at all" perspective. We ended up having this discussion all day! It reminded me of politics. Here is my personal conclusion and philosophy as of present: don't even try to label artwork (at least for now). I will just like what makes me feel good, and for the pieces that I dislike, I will attempt to like them, but if I try and can't like them, I'll just let it go. I've decided that judging art is impossible (what's good or bad in art is really, really relative), if you want to be fair, because it's someone's point of view, and no one else will necessarily have that same view. So that's it."
Mr. Watson wanted us to describe a criterion that we can apply to all "quality" things, when judging whether they’re “quality” or not. I believe whole-heartedly that one universal criterion doesn't exist. "Quality", like "good" or "bad", is not something that is definable, to say the least.
I won't say more on this subject, because the most quality answer that I can give you is none.
I will only say this: Robert M. Pirsig, who wrote Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, spent 380 pages on this subject, and did an adequate job (because you could go on for the rest of your life writing about this subject). In this wonderfully insightful piece of literature, he describes the search for what "quality" is, and the subsequent insanity that accompanies it. Read this book. Please.
Sometimes when I'm eating raw fish, a hamburger, or a chicken breast, my stomach starts to lurch. I feel like I'm going to barf, because I suddenly think of the actual fish, cow, or hen, being slaughtered in the bloody factory. I think of the sticky floors covered in half dried blood, and the stench of rotten flesh circulating through the barely working air conditioning.
Sometimes I actually become the cow, fish, or hen. I am crowed in miniscule rusty cages, barely enough room to turn around. I feel my multiple roommates fidgeting, and I feel their hot breath on my sweaty, dirty skin. During the rare time that I’m fed in my cage, I can literally taste the fecal matter of myself and my companions mixed in with the spare parts of my fathers, uncles, mothers, and aunts in the strange slop offered to me.
Snapping back to the present, I mentally gag. No thanks; I'll pass on that, just a salad for me. It's only temporary vegetarianism, because soon I'll have a craving for my ahi nigiri, or Teddy's Bigger Burger (with a chocolate milk shake of course), or Deb's fried chicken. And BOOM! Just like that the process starts all over, and there I am again, a cow in a slaughterhouse having my entrails ripped out, or a headless chicken running around, or a flopping, helpless fish.
I am a temporary vegetarian: part animal activist, part animal.
Year two thousand has passed
I’m stuck in the middle-beginning of it all
And I’m afraid of getting old
Because all I can see is two thousand and now
I’m young and new and headstrong
(Though I’ll never admit it)
To tell the truth I won’t, I can’t
See anything beyond the here and now
The sun rises in the morning,
And I see it set at night
I see the stars in the sky as plain as day
But I can’t see the future
Though it maps itself out ahead of me
I’m young and new and headstrong
(though I’ll never admit it)
And I think I’m old at heart
But It won’t stop the days, the years
From passing by me
Can I make it stop?
Do I want to make it stop?
I’m running down this hill
I trip and skip and sprint to the end
But my eyes are squeezed shut
Because I don't want to see myself fall
I use my favorite mug to make my tea. It says, "You Say I'm a Bitch Like It's a Bad Thing". I like to think of it as inspirational. After swirling the tap water around to get the residue of last nights tea out, I fill the cup up all the way and stick it in the micro for two and a half minutes. I usually only put it in for two but tonight the air is bitterly cold and wet. To attest to this fact, I already have the heating pad under my feather comforter to get it nice and toasty. It’s a ritual that I’ve started practicing since the temperature has gotten to be in the low seventies. I got the idea from Sense and Sensibility, because apparently, back in the day, the maids put hot pans under the mattress. Pretty damn good idea if you ask me. In the future, I every mattress should be an electric heating pad that you can turn on and off for a toasty night’s sleep. But until then, we’ll have to make do with hot electric blankets slid under fluffy blankets. Yum.
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